I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize