You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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