no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
