So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
