In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
