Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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