Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
