I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
