I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize