Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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