I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Everything about him screamed your future.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If its not for food we ain't going out.
All I want is dick and wine.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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