Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I need to align my fucking chakras
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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