Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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