There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
