I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
