apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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