he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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