I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
