You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize