You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
