we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
