Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
