Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I pour the whiskey from now on
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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