so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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