she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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