how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
