Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
