Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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