well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
