batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
