i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
