Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
