I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
