The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
