He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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