sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
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so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
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Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....