I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.