Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  How did that happen by accident?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night. (1-314): How did that happen by accident? (314): I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong. http://tfl.nu/6uoj
  Replies (17) Good night (572) Bad night (3330)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me. http://tfl.nu/qg7x
  Replies (58) Good night (5559) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him. http://tfl.nu/wohd
  Replies (15) Good night (682) Bad night (4592)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win http://tfl.nu/7mt0
  Replies (10) Good night (3777) Bad night (1204)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot. http://tfl.nu/hre1
  Replies (14) Good night (3700) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail? http://tfl.nu/evev
  Replies (7) Good night (2886) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired. http://tfl.nu/ogws
  Replies (27) Good night (2935) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars? http://tfl.nu/yo90
  Replies (8) Good night (1433) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here? http://tfl.nu/bu6m
  Replies (5) Good night (2402) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica. http://tfl.nu/qw7s
  Replies (5) Good night (1458) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high. http://tfl.nu/spu2
  Replies (1) Good night (761) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at. http://tfl.nu/sdak
  Replies (2) Good night (361) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship http://tfl.nu/1u6k
  Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church.. http://tfl.nu/s62p
  Replies (1) Good night (487) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it. http://tfl.nu/9xto
  Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (277)

Randomize