In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize