Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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