Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

dude i need help, im throwing up blood.

(323): View more from California

no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.

(310): View more from California

oh, so thats why my junks red.

(323): View more from California

wow. cant help you there...

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(310): dude i need help, im throwing up blood. (323): no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up. (310): oh, so thats why my junks red. (323): wow. cant help you there... http://tfl.nu/yeir

Replies (15) Good night (811) Bad night (1608)
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(561): View more from Florida

My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.

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(561): My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist. http://tfl.nu/h6i5

Replies (39) Good night (5381) Bad night (624)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.

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(575): I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte. http://tfl.nu/ceno

Replies (24) Good night (4268) Bad night (850)
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(734): View more from Michigan

So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.

(810): View more from Michigan

You're 20.

(734): View more from Michigan

IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

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(734): So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear. (810): You're 20. (734): IT'S BUILD A BEAR! http://tfl.nu/k2jt

Replies (149) Good night (11514) Bad night (2205)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"

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(203): it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq" http://tfl.nu/vhsj

Replies (19) Good night (1638) Bad night (3294)
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(937): View more from Ohio

i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.

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(937): i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester. http://tfl.nu/q7xe

Replies (31) Good night (5863) Bad night (2121)
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(917): View more from New York City

If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you

(917): View more from New York City

Those had pot in them

(917): View more from New York City

And good luck on your interview asshole

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(917): If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you (917): Those had pot in them (917): And good luck on your interview asshole http://tfl.nu/911g

Replies (51) Good night (17418) Bad night (1608)
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(904): View more from Florida

Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.

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(904): Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is. http://tfl.nu/v4zj

Replies (49) Good night (9316) Bad night (1439)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me

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(+44): i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me http://tfl.nu/srm7

Replies (9) Good night (979) Bad night (3027)
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(903): View more from Texas

We talked him into tasing himself.

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(903): We talked him into tasing himself. http://tfl.nu/jtjc

Replies (12) Good night (3077) Bad night (1000)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

yeah you don't forget that shit easily

(651): View more from Minnesota

We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.

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(651): You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"? (1-651): yeah you don't forget that shit easily (651): We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email. http://tfl.nu/xfpa

Replies (11) Good night (4732) Bad night (693)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.

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(336): I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale. http://tfl.nu/9c1d

Replies (19) Good night (4213) Bad night (852)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.

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(402): You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair. http://tfl.nu/auy6

Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (1074)
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(785): View more from Kansas

His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.

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(785): His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less. http://tfl.nu/hesm

Replies (4) Good night (972) Bad night (315)
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(989): View more from Michigan

You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.

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(989): You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face. http://tfl.nu/p4hv

Replies (2) Good night (451) Bad night (253)

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