D3 body, D1 cock
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
