just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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