Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
