i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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