OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Shame - the story of my life.
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