she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
