i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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