I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
