Ambien. No doubt about it.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
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I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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