Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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