Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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