No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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