He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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