hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
