I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize