I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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