I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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