Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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