Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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