They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
your like the ambassador to my penis.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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