i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
