is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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