Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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