I am in a vortex of obligation.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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