literally had 100 drinks last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
