Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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