No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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