Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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