I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I wear drunk well.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
